


Jiggery Pokery

by Tish



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Gen, Timeline Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 04:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: A few days relaxing by the beach for The Doctor. Ah, if only!





	Jiggery Pokery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trobadora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobadora/gifts).



She closed her eyes as she sipped her tea, savouring the blend as she let the day go by. The sounds of friendly conversations, the gentle clatter of dishes, and the calls of the sea birds washed over her as she relaxed outside the cliff top café. Down below, ship bells sounded across the inlet as they docked, the shouts of the harbour crew echoing as they drifted up.

The Doctor opened her eyes and set down her cup, content to let the day go by. No attacking aliens, no global emergencies, no wormholes sucking in people whose names began with an 'R' -- just a few days of bliss, alone on an idyllic alien planet.

As she looked down at the beach, the shadows of a few clouds slowly passed across the sun before they evaporated. Children happily played as brightly coloured balls bounced on the white sand and bobbed on the sparkling water. Beyond the beach, the harbour walls curved round, sheltering the moored boats.

The Doctor finished her meal and had just collected her plates together ready for the server, when a shadow covered the sun. Cries and shouts made her look up as something huge flew overhead, slowly circling overhead. A rasping squawk filled the air as the beast-like bird suddenly swooped down fast, narrowly missing some people as they ran for cover.

“The Champion, someone fetch The Champion!” Someone shouted as they ran inside.

A small child tripped and fell as she ran with her family, her parents ran on, trying to grab all their children. The Doctor picked her up and ran to join everyone inside, handing her over to a grateful father.

“Every time this has happened, The Champion always saves us. Be calm, everyone,” the café owner said as she stood on a chair. “Now, we need to gather the tribute for The Champion, so please be generous.”

The Doctor watched as a bowl was handed round and coins and notes were thrust into it eagerly.

“Excuse me, who is this Champion?” The Doctor asked someone next to her.

“The Champion guards us all from harm. Last month, a giant lizard creature threatened us, and The Champion took care of us. She waved her wand at it and it disappeared in a flash of golden light!” The man replied, voice full of awe.

The Doctor moved outside to watch the giant bird as it swooped up and plunged down in great arcs. “Is it necessarily a threat? I don't suppose that bird is here for mating season or building a nest?”

“We've never seen anything like it, or any of the giant creatures. Nothing like them have been recorded in our historical documents, not for hundreds of years,” said the café owner as she cautiously came over.

The Doctor started to take out her sonic screwdriver. “Right, I think I might be-”

She was drowned out as cheers and shouts erupted around her.

A woman strode along the path, waving and nodding regally to the crowd. Flame-red hair spilled down her shoulders and her pea-green dress swished as she walked. She stopped and dramatically struck a pose as the crowd waited expectantly.

“This fell beast shall trouble you no longer,” she cried, raising a black metal wand to the sky.

The bird cartwheeled in the sky, circling around again. The Doctor saw all the colour drain from The Champion's face as she waved the wand, muttering to herself. The Champion pulled the wand closer to her chest and fiddled with it, still cursing.

With a sigh, The Doctor decided that she would have to pitch in and help, but had only taken one step before another voice called out.

“Charlatan!” The voice rang out as the bird disintegrated in a series of blue swirling sparks.

Confusion reigned. The Champion spluttered in fury as the crowd gasped and chattered. The Doctor slowly turned, blinking in the shock of recognition as the owner of the voice strode forward.

“Trickery. Pure smoke and mirrors. Your fraudulent Champion set up a little parlour game and made it disappear with a flick of her wand.” The woman paused as she theatrically held up a small gadget. “This is from her wand. That's what made all the magic go.”

As the crowd surged around her, The Doctor stared at the new woman, thinking to herself, _Missy, you crafty little beggar. But how do I play this? Where am I in her timeline? What's she up to? Oh, questions, questions! I'm looking forward to this!_

Missy held up a placating hand to the crowd. “No, I do not seek money. Please give it to the poverty stricken amongst you.” She reached out a hand and grabbed The Champion's shoulder, just as she was trying to sneak away. “Please do not be too hard on this unfortunate creature. She merely wanted to be loved, to be wanted. Can you find it in your hearts to forgive her? She's obviously repentant.”

_Not too long ago, I would be asking, Who are you, and what have you done to Missy?_ The Doctor thought, suppressing a grin.

“I'm sorry,” whispered The Champion.

The Doctor moved closer. “Excuse me, Champion, have you considered a career as a magician? You're obviously very talented, that was an amazing illusion you created.”

Missy was watching The Doctor carefully, tilting her head like she was listening to something very quiet.

The Champion chewed her lip doubtfully as she thought it over, eyeing the crowd warily.

Murmurs ran through the crowd until the café owner spoke up. “Champion, you tricked us. Not only that, but you scared us. We thought we might lose our loved ones, our friends to those creatures. People could have been hurt in the panic. That's hard to simply put aside. However, if you're genuine in your apology, our lawmakers will be merciful.”

“It's almost a relief to be found out,” The Champion said as she rubbed her jaw. “Having to make bigger and scarier monsters every time.” She fell silent and sighed as a small group started to lead her to the town.

The crowd thinned out as they returned to their food, one or two staring curiously at Missy as they went, and The Doctor found herself standing alone with Missy. “That was an impressive and heart-felt speech. Someone I used to know would be proud of that.”

Missy pursed her lips as she pondered her answer. “Someone you used to know? A friend?”

“It was complicated for a while, but yes, I'd say so,” replied The Doctor, voice full of warmth.

Missy slowly circled The Doctor, a smile playing on her lips. “I used to have a friend who gave grand speeches like that. He must have rubbed off on me.”

“Have you seen him lately, your friend?” The Doctor asked as they spontaneously began to stroll along the path down to the beach.

“Not for a while, no. I usually appear in his life and cause havoc for a while. Then I vanish in a flash of sparkles. I do love the unexpected, actually,” Missy said, airily.

“Yes, I can see that,” The Doctor pointed to the sky as the last few blue sparkles danced in the breeze. “I think it shows a good character to be able to admit to one's ill deeds, to stand up and face the consequences.”

“Or maybe she's still got a few tricks up her sleeve and is going to show them one last bit of jiggery pokery,” Missy mused.

“Would she be able to look herself in the mirror after that?” The Doctor countered.

“She could change her face, then she could look herself in the mirror,” Missy quipped, flicking open her umbrella. “A little too much sun today.”

“One could get a different face, but the same person is behind the eyes,” The Doctor pointed out carefully.

Missy stopped and stared at The Doctor. “You have very interesting eyes. It's as though I can see forever in them.”

“I haven't lived long enough to see forever,” The Doctor said, gazing back.

“Plenty of time to see forever. I haven't even told you my name, have I?” Missy laughed, slyly.

The Doctor looked at her evenly, “I haven't told you mine, either.”

“Don't. Let's go through to eternity not knowing each other's name. A mystery for the ages,” Missy replied with a wink.

“Perhaps I'll guess it and carve it in those white cliffs," The Doctor pointed to the horizon.

“Wonderful! I love the unexpected. Speaking of which,” Missy's eyes twinkled as she paused, as though waiting for something. She nodded as though she had decided on something and pulled The Doctor in for a tender kiss. Blue sparkles glowed around her and she pulled away, starting to disappear as The Doctor gasped for breath.

““Farewell, Doctor. Always a pleasure to flirt with you,” Missy said gleefully, as her last blue sparkles faded away.

The Doctor was left on the path, laughing softly as the gentle sea breeze played around her hair.

 


End file.
